Her Boys
by PortGreen
Summary: Tragedy strikes and Jason has to decide if he wants to raise Cameron and Jake
1. Chapter 1

**When life happens fast, you have to live through it slow **

**Chapter One**

Taking his hand in hers, "Life is dangerous. We have to stop living based on the 'what ifs' that may or may not happen. We need to live in the moment and cherish the time we have together because it could always be our last, whether it be by something in your life or life in general"

"What makes you think that I deserve that life? You, me, Cameron and Jake, living together as a family, teaching them things and reading to them every night. What makes you think I deserve to be…"

Dropping his hands in disgusted, she turns away from him, running her fingers aggressively through her long chestnut hair, "What? A husband, a father?"

Looking away from her tear filed eyes, "I don't deserve to be any of those things"

Glancing at his defeated stance almost broke her heart. Walking up to him, she caresses his face before taking it in both of her hands, "Says who? Everyone deserves love Jason and a chance to be with their family"

Savoring the warmth of her hands, as he gazed into her deep blue eyes, wanting nothing more than to lose himself in them, but knowing he couldn't. Removing her hands and giving them one last squeeze, "I really wish we made it to Italy"

Reaching passed her to grab his suit jacket and turning to leave

"Jason?"

Looking back at her he can see the pool of tears in her eyes that threatened to fall but beyond that he could see the love and hope

"Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?"

And with one last look he was gone and she was once again left to pick of the pieces of her broken heart

* * *

Entering his office and throwing his leather jacket across his chair as he continues his phone conversation, "I don't want excuses Bernie I want actions. Find out exactly what went wrong and get back to me," He snapped

Closing his phone he let out a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was losing it. He couldn't get his last conversation with Elizabeth out of his head.

_Everyone deserves love Jason and a chance to be with their family_

He wanted nothing more than to be with her and the boys, but not at the expense of putting them in danger. If anything happened to them because of him he would never be able to forgive himself.

Seeing her hurt like that always broke something in him. He hated hurting her, hated that after everything he's done to her she still has the love and hope for him in her eyes for him.

_Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?_

Needing to clear his head, he grabbed his motorcycle keys, figuring that a nice long ride would allow him to drown out the doubt that started to build in him.

* * *

Walking off the elevator with a chart in hand, this was definitely the last place she wanted to be. It always amazed her how quickly life could change. It was only a few days ago that she was supposed to be on her way to Italy, but once again plans with Jason fell through, they always seem to have a way of doing that.

As always, Sonny's life screwed up her life. Sure she felt bad that Kate had been shot, but she couldn't help the nagging feeling that if Sonny didn't try to ignore his past and actually had guards all of this could've been prevented.

Slamming the chart down in frustration, she went about making sure things were in order with her patients

"Troubles?"

Glancing up from her task at hand she noticed Robin in front of her with a concerned look on her face.

"Nothing, just a bad couple of days"

"Well if you need anyone to talk to…"

"I don't," she snapped, which caused Robin to slightly jump back

"I'm sorry" Elizabeth stated as she blew her bangs out of her eyes

"I really appreciate your concern, but I rather not discuss it"

Grabbing Elizabeth's hand and giving it a tight squeeze, "I'm here if you need someone to talk to you", giving her small smile before she retreated in the direction of her office

Appreciating Robin's sentiments but really what could she say to her? 'I'm upset that Jason promised me the world, only to take it back in less than 24 hours'. Turning to grab another stake of charts, but instead knocking them completely over and littering the nurse's hub

"Great. Just great" she grunted out

"Nurse Webber, I think it's time for you to go home," Epiphany stated as she came into the Nurse's hub and saw Elizabeth's frustration with the charts

"I still have a half hour on my shift"

"You're in the wrong frame of mind to take care of your patient" Epiphany spoke in a tone that left no room to argue

"But…"

Holding up her hand to halt her plead, "Go home, clear your head, spend some extra time with your boys and come back tomorrow ready to work with a different attitude"

Nodding her head in acceptance, Elizabeth grabs her purse from underneath the desk and retreats to the locker room

* * *

Bright blue and red light reflected off the scene as the Police tape line cut off part of the road where the guard rail had been smashed and crumpled.

Walking up to the crime scene, he thanked God it wasn't his kid who took a joy ride and ended up at the bottom of the cliff road in a gulf of flames.

"What do we have here? Mac asked as he walked up to the detective on call

"Well, we have tire marks, looks like the driver lost control of the vehicle and tried to stop but ended up crashing into the railing and going over the edge" Cruz stated

Looking back at the missing railing, "Any witnesses?"

"Just the guy who called it in because he saw the fire as he was passing by"

"Do we have an ID on the driver of the car?

"The fire dept just put out the fire and they found the license plate so we're running it now. But we'll have to wait for forensics to get a positive ID on the driver"

"Was there anyone else in the car?"

"Just the driver and two empty car seats"

Jogging on to the scene with a paper in hand, "We ran the plates and found out the owner of the car" Harper stated slightly out of breath

"Who is it?"

Looking back and forth between Mac and Cruz, "Elizabeth Webber"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

After the long ride out of town, skipping the cliff roads for obvious reasons, Jason could not get Elizabeth out of his head. The more he thought about their conversation and Sonny's wedding he realized a few things.

Entering the penthouse, he tossed his keys on to the desk and pulled out his cell phone, only to get the voice mail recording, "Hey, this is Elizabeth I'm currently unavailable please leave your name & number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can" BEEP

"Elizabeth, it's me. I need to speak to you. Call me when you get this I'm at home"

Placing his jacket across the back of his desk chair, he walked over to the balcony doors. Crossing his arms over his chest, he sighed in contempt of what he was about to do. Hearing the opening and quick closing of the door, he looks over to see Spinelli making his signature rush entrance into the penthouse.

"Did you find what I asked?"

"I was looking into the PCPD mainframe like you asked to get all the information on the drug bust that happened on the docks" he said in an almost somber voice that slightly confused him

"So what did you find out?" hoping for once that Spinelli could get to the point without long tangents about Greek literature or the one of his 'blond ones' finding their way into the mix.

"But then something most distressing…"

So much for getting to the point, "What?"

"A car accident out on Route 22."

Rubbing his hand across his face, "Spinelli, what does a car accident have to do with anything I asked?"

"It was the Maternal One. It was her car"

Brushing past Spinelli to grab his keys from the desk, he raced out the door without so much as a glance back

* * *

"So what are we looking at? Another drunk driver?" Detective Spencer stated as he nonchalantly walked onto the scene

Mac, Harper and Cruz all exchanged looks, none of them wanting to be the bearer of bad news.

Taking Lucky's shoulder, Mac pulls him to the side, "It wasn't a drunk driver. It was Elizabeth Webber"

"Elizabeth? We're my kids in the car?"

"No, just their car seats"

Breathing a sigh of relief, "What the Hell happened?"

The faint sound of a motorcycle could be heard in the background as it pulled up to the scene. Climbing off his bike and making his way over to Mac, only to be stopped by Lucky

"Was this your doing? One of your enemies running Elizabeth off the road, my kids could've been in the car!" Lucky yelled as he pointed an accusation finger in Jason's face

Clenching and unclenching his fists at his side, he held back his initial instinct to level Lucky on his ass. Curbing his anger because the last thing he needed was to be hauled down to the PCPD for assaulting an officer, he brushed him off and continued to make his way to Mac

"What are you doing here Jason? Your hacker listening in police scans now"

"I was driving by. Is Elizabeth alright?"

"She's…" Mac started to say but was cut off by Lucky

"Her car went off the road and over the cliff, how do you think she is? She's dead" he spattered before he walked off the scene.

Jason felt like the ground opened up beneath him and threatened to pull him under. So many emotions crossed his face and through his mind he couldn't handle it, denial being the key player. She couldn't be dead…I just, we were just, I called her…she was

Recognizing a look on Jason's face he had never been witnessed to. Gone was the emotionless stone cold give nothing away look, as a look of pure devastation crossed his path and the brightness of his pale baby blues darkened. For once, Mac took pity on the once mob enforcer now kingpin.

"Commissioner?" another officer called as he walked up to the two men

Jason could only vaguely understand what they were saying. Something about Elizabeth's car going off the road and crashing at the bottom of the cliff only to be caught on fire, one body pulled out, burnt beyond recognition, but they did find what was left of her purse that contained her identification

Jason watched as they pull the body containing Elizabeth. His Elizabeth, in the back of the morgue truck, feeling as if he couldn't breathe and that the walls were closing in on him, he walked off and climbed on the back of his bike, riding away into the night.

* * *

Barging into Jason's office in hope of finding his friend after all the other locations he's searched came up empty, only to find Carly sitting in the chair across from Jason's.

"He isn't here," she says as she briefly glancing up from her magazine. "He was supposed to meet me here, but obviously something came up because he's running late. He's never late. So take a number because the minute he gets here I'm speaking with him first"

"I fear that Stone Cold is missing"

Closing her magazine, she tossed it down on the desk, "What do you mean 'missing'? What are you talking about?"

Giving her a mini recap of the latest events of the Stone Cold saga, from what happened at the penthouse to his reason for being at the coffeehouse.

"Wait wait wait. What kind of information did you give Jason that would make him run off like that?"

"It would seem that the maternal one was in a fatal car accident"

He wasn't sure where he was going when he hopped on his bike but he knew he had to get away before the events of the night started to consume him. Taking the curves fast and the straight-aways faster the memories started to assault him.

_Do you know what nothing feels like?_

_Yeah. That's pretty much where I live_

Nothing, that's where he felt like he was going again. He was numb to everything around him, not even the cool night air against his skin could be felt. Everything was slipping away and he wasn't sure if he could survive living like that again.

Looking up into the sky covered in stars…

_Aren't you glad we get to see it?_

The words felt like they were whispered across his ear, that if he turned his head back around she would be there laughing as she always did when they were going fast. Face roused by the whipping of cool air across her smooth skin and midnight blue eyes twinkling with excitement.

She always looked small, delicate, but filled with a lot of life. She always left you wanting to protect her from anything and everything, sometimes forgetting how strong she truly was despite her small stature.

_No, no! Jason, not here. Come on. We have to get you out of the snow. Jason I'm not going to let you die. Come on. Damn it, Jason, help me!_

Never once giving up, when all he wanted was to be left alone in the snow, alone to die because nothing in his world made sense anymore, much in the way it doesn't make sense now.

He couldn't believe she was really gone. That there were so many things left unsaid between them, things he wanted, no needed her to hear, could he ever really say 'good-bye'

_No, I'll see you later_

He wished that was true now more than anything. That this was merely one of the times he left Port Charles for parts unknown and that when he got back she would be there with that smile that reached her eyes and she'd run into his arms and it feel like they were never apart

_Do you remember when we sat here and you said good-bye and I said, "No, see you later"? I knew I'd see you again_

Dropping in and out of her life, he always seemed to do that. Even though he knew it hurt her every time he did it…

_Don't you get it yet? It's not OK for you to just drop out of my life. I would miss you too much._

Is this how she felt when he would push her away? The empty feeling, the constant longing, the ache…but he had to push her away then. His life wasn't good enough for her. She always had dreams and so much life in her that his life of violence and death would cage all that, he had nothing to offer her

_You listened when no one else could hear me. You trusted me to live my own life when I didn't even trust myself. You make me happy. You make me feel free._

But he couldn't see all that. All he saw was her meeting a cruel and early death that surrounded his life and he'd be damned if she'd have that fate, so he pushed until she left

_But you are Sonny's…Sonny's enforcer, first…last…and always_

Then she was gone. It took everything in him to not run after her, pull her into his arms and never let her go. But it was for the best right?

_Give me your hand…do you feel that?_

_This is perfect timing. I've been wanting you to see my son, Cameron_

But then they drifted apart. Their lives never seemed to cross for a period of time. However, whenever he really needed someone, he could always count on her to be there. She was like the light at the end of a dark tunnel, showing him the way and saying the things he needed to hear to get him through it

_I don't think you ever knew just how much I fell in love with you_

He didn't know. With everything that happened and all the choices they had both made in the past he never knew that she could love him. An unexpected night that gave them the most precious unexpected gift

_Jason, Lucky's not the father of this baby. You are._

She gave him the greatest gift. The one thing he always long to have but never thought possible and in a way it still wasn't

_Please don't hate me_

_I could never hate you_

And he never could. She had given him something that could never truly be taken away from him and he could never hate her for the circumstances that surrounded it. She was a good mother, the best possible one he could've ever hoped to be the mother of his child.

_I love you, and I always will_

Shocked by her admission, when he let those words slip out of his mouth he couldn't imagine she would ever return them back to him. He longed to hear those words for so long, but as usual whenever, they would come close something always got in the way

_Are we really doing this?_

_Unless you back out_

_Nuh-uh. It's not going to happen_

In that moment nothing could've made him take it back. In that one moment everything they both had longed for had come true and then fate was cruel again. In the briefest of happiest moments shared between them the pain started to seep in

_Okay, so – just so I'm clear on this…you're choosing that life, the violence, over me and the boys?_

All he ever wanted was to make her happy. Why couldn't he ever make her happy? Why did he always leave her broken hearted?

_You see, that's what hurts, that every time we come close to happiness, you disappear from my life. And then I am left with all this love and all these dreams and no place to put them. And it's happening again_

Why couldn't he ever stop the tears? Why couldn't he just let them be happy?

Seeing the bright headlights coming towards him, vaguely hearing the sound of the horn, the voice was back whispering in his ear, despair in its tone

_Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?_

_

* * *

  
_

After searching for what felt like hours for his friend, he returned home feeling defeated and at a lost. Entering the darkened penthouse, with nothing but the moonlight for lighting, he went to reach for the desk lamp when the stoic figure on the couch stopped him. It would seem that what he had been searching for had been in the last place he ever thought to look.

Hesitantly approaching his friend, his voice broke the silence, barely above a whisper

"Stone Cold?"

No answer. Taking in the scene before him, the bottle of Tequila, unopened, with an empty shot glass next to it. His usually calm stone like friend was sitting in the middle of the couch looking in a way the Jackal had never seen him before.

Is this heartbreak?

The young computer geek wondered as he noticed the gash on the side of his friend's forehead. Long had the blood dried and speckled around the wound. Looking over the rest of his body for injuries he noticed the ripped jeans, a rather large dark burgundy spot on the side of the blue T-shirt, knuckles bruised reddened and covered in dried blood

"Stone Cold…Are you hurt? Should I go…"

He let the last of his words trail off. His friend made no movement and if he wasn't watching him so carefully he would've probably missed him blink, the only evidence of life.

"Maybe I should get a first-aid kid, to help, um…"

"She was good at that"

Startled by the voice that broke the uneasiness Spinelli was starting to feel about the unfamiliar situation. The base boomed against the walls but quieted down by the time he reached the end of his thought.

"Who? The maternal one" the timid geek asked

"She would bandage me up whenever I was hurt even when I told her I was alright" his gaze focused on nothing and no one

"I saw her earlier tonight", he continued as if he didn't hear Spinelli's question

"I hate seeing that look in her eyes. All the hurt and anger, it always breaks something in me to see her like that"

Taking a seat in the chair next to the couch he sat and listened…

The silence continued to the point where Spinelli felt he may have imagined his friend ever speaking, but then there it was again, this time in a harsh whisper

"I only ever wanted to make her happy but I…I couldn't. I let the fear consume me, cripple me because I couldn't risk her being hurt by my life again. I left her there…just standing there, alone…again"

"But then I changed my mind. I wanted to be with her…the boys. I wanted my family. I called her, left a message…doesn't matter now does it?"

The anger and disgust had entered his voice. Growing agitated he rubbed his palms along his scuffed jeans, in an attempt that Spinelli thought would calm him down, but seemed to have the opposite effect, until he stopped moving all together.

Taking a long deep breath, he slowly let it out, which seemed to calm him for a moment.

"I went for a ride" he started again, his voice still no louder than an octave above his beating heart.

"It usually helps to clear my head, but I just…it was so loud. Her voice was so loud" he declared harshly, almost cursing the haunting voice

"Not even the wind could drown it out. She was there, she's always there with me"

"Stone Cold, I don't think…"

"We used to ride together, did you know?" He stated just before his head snapped towards Spinelli. A quick motion that almost had the geek jumping out of his skin

That's when he saw it. Looking into Jason's eyes, for the first time, with only the lighting of the moonlight he saw the despair and the building of tears that threatened to fall

"We would ride nowhere and she would throw her head back and scream into the wind to go faster" He said with a slight chuckle, as if he could see the vision of the memory in front of him.

"She loved it more than me. She said it made her feel free and on the back of my bike, she was"

Wiping at the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand and then with his other he ran it across his face, trying to gather himself.

Burying his face in his hands, he let out an awful moan and turned his head to Spinelli, this time his eyes hollow and blood shot.

"All I can think about…is if she was scared. Did she know what was about to happen to her? Did she feel any…" swallowing thickly, the mere word was too bitter on the tongue to utter…

Shaking his head of the thought, too harsh too cruel for him to dwell on any longer.

Leaning back against the cushion of the couch with his head laid back he tried to will the tears away. His thought becoming unbearable, almost consuming

_Will you ever allow yourself to be happy? _He thought behind the hands that masked his face. Letting his arms drop at his side as he kept his head titled back along the couch.

He sat there wondering if he would ever be able to answer that question…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…

Shifting on the couch he moaned, hoping the sound would stop

Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…

Fuck

Blindly reaching out for the source of the infuriating sound he lazily felt around for his cell phone. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes so he could focus on more than just the red blinking light, he noticed he had 15 missed calls and 5 voicemails.

Groaning as he sat up, his back protesting after sleeping on the couch for the night he blankly looked around the penthouse trying to shake the fog out of his head.

Rubbing the back of his neck to release his strained muscles he noticed the still unopened bottle of Tequila next to the unused shot glass. For two days it's been there and every time he looked at it he wanted to devour it. He wanted to numb the pain that he'd been feeling so that he couldn't feel anything, but he simply couldn't do it. Part of him knew that he deserved to feel every bit of this and more, but another part feared that Elizabeth's voice would leave his mind.

Stretching out his stiff muscles, which repeatedly reminded him, that the couch was not a good place to crash for the night…

Dark clouds casted over the city as heavy rain drops fell against the balcony doors. It seemed fitting after all that had happened the last few days.

The autopsy came back late last night, confirming that Elizabeth's DNA matched the body that was pulled out of the car. The cops had ruled it an accident, faulty breaks, no one's fault case closed.

He'd gone over to her grandmother's house yesterday offering his condolences and to help with the funeral, but as expected she refused any help from him, practically closing the door in his face and flat out refusing to let him see the boys, although, she was nice enough to at least tell him when the funeral would be held.

The penthouse phone rang out disrupting him from his thoughts. He wanted to ignore it but figured that he could only avoid the world for so long before it came banging on his door.

"Morgan"

Rubbing his hand over his unshaven face, he audibly signed before he answered

"I'll be there in an hour"

Returning the headset to the receiver, he gazed across the room, taking one last glance at the unopened Tequila bottle before going upstairs to shower and change.

* * *

Entering his office he found Diane sitting at the chair across from his desk, her nose buried in a magazine, no doubt looking for the next pair of shoes she was going to buy with the money she'll be making out of this session.

"You're late" She said, momentarily eying him over her magazine as he took his place in his desk chair

Leaning back in the chair, getting comfortable for the grueling lecture, meeting or whatever it was that caused Diane to summon him to his office on an early Saturday morning

Growing impatient as she continued to flip through her magazine, he blew out an annoyed sigh after running his hand through his spiked blond locks

"Diane, are you going to get to the reason why you called me down here or did you just bother me so I could watch you flip through a magazine?"

"I simply can't decide whether I want the Manolo sling backs or the Gucci alligator pumps"

"Diane…"

"Or maybe I should treat myself to both"

"Diane!"

"Oh alright" she said with a huff as she closed her magazine and went to open her leather briefcase

"Could you please get to why I'm here?"

Gathering her papers, she eyed him closely as she began to state her business

"As you know I was Elizabeth's attorney…"

Instantly, noticing the change in his demeanor, stoic expression securely in place, tight shoulders and an obvious sad expression in his crystal blue eyes

She decided to go easy on him, even though situations such as these made her uncomfortable and that she'd rather be defending him on another murder trial then have this discussion.

"Yea, I remember what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, in the event of her…absence or in this case…" she paused, wondering if he was in a frame of mind to handle this right now. Although, he cleaned up alright, no 5 O'clock shadow and in his signature black t-shirt and jeans, there was still something off about him.

"Well in the event that she couldn't or wouldn't be able to take care of her children she left emergency custody to you with an opportunity for full custody"

At this reveal his eyes briefly widened, so quick that if she hadn't been watching him carefully she probably would've missed it.

"I take it she didn't discuss this with you"

"No we really never…she never…" blowing out a shaky breath "We never discussed this"

"Considering that her body was positively identified only last night, the emergency custody went into effect this morning. Mr. Spencer should've been served" pausing to check her watch "about 45 minutes ago with court papers to relinquish the custody of her children to you. You will then have 60 days to file for full custody before the boys are turned over to Elizabeth's next of kin or the state"

"Diane, I don't know, this is all…" he stammered out

Pulling out a small white sealed envelope from her file, she placed it in front of him

"She left you this. I think I'll go grab a latte while you digest this information and figure out your next move."

Gathering her papers and briefcase she slipped out of office to give him some privacy.

Looking down at the envelope, he glided his fingers across the envelope labeled "Jason", trailing a finger along the spelling of his name in Elizabeth's perfect cursive handwriting

He wasn't sure if he was ready to read Elizabeth's last thoughts to him. A part of him felt that by reading the letter it would make everything so final. That this was really the end no more "I'll see you later", this would really be "Good-bye"

But a larger part of him desperately wanted to know what she had to say to him; that whatever was left in this letter would somehow get him through this whole ordeal, something for him to hold on to.

Slowly picking up the envelope he carefully opened it and pulled out the small piece of stationary paper inside

_Dear Jason, _

_My faith in you has always been unshakable and justified. I love you, always _

_Forever yours, _

_Elizabeth_

And just like that it all became clear

"Diane!"

Poking her head back into the office only seconds after his call…

"Get the paperwork started"

"Already one step ahead of you" she said with a rather smug look on her face as Jason simply shook his head

Easily re-entering the office, she took her place across from him

"Now, this won't be an easy feat, I'm sure Mr…"

Before she could finish a loud voice from the other side of the door roared out

"Where is he?"

"Speaking of the devil" Diane mumbled

"The Boss is in a meeting you're going to have to come back" Max said as he blocked the distraught detective's path

"It's alright Max, let him in" Jason called out, figuring he mind as well get it over with

Opening the door, Max allowed Lucky to pass him, giving a wink in Diane's direction as she countered with a coy smile before he closed the door

Slamming papers onto the desk, which Jason figured had to be the emergency custody ones for the boys that Diane previously told him about; he spoke in a harsh tone

"You're not taking my sons"

Rolling his eyes as he sat back calmly in his chair crossing his arms over his broad chest

"The _only_ reason you were ever in a position to take care of them was because Elizabeth and I allowed it"

"No, the reason was that you're dangerous and you will always be too dangerous for the boys to be around"

"Things change, even you had to know that this arrangement would not last forever"

Recognizing the truth in the statement, the fight in his eyes diminished a little, "This isn't over, I'm going to do everything in my power to fight this", Lucky declared before taking his leave, slamming the door behind him

Looking at the door where Spencer just exited, "I take it back. This is going to be too easy"

Turning back around to Jason, "Now that the temper tantrum is over, let's get down to business"

* * *

After Lucky stormed out of his office he spent the next hour going over Diane's plan, which was more like a Do's and Don'ts list. At the very top of the Don'ts it was no physical altercations with Lucky. Diane stressed the importance of keeping his temper so that nothing can be used against him during this impending custody case.

Leaving her at the office, unfortunately not before witnessing her and Max's heavy make out session in the hallway, he called some people over to the penthouse to prepare for the boys arrival.

Later in the evening when it was time to pick the boys up, Diane insisted that a uniform police officer should be there while the "exchange" was taking place. Looking at the guy that was standing sentinel at the edge of the porch he almost wanted to laugh at the irony

Knocking on the door he blew out a harsh breath, attempting to calm his nerves. It had been a few weeks since he last saw the boys in the park and the anticipation of it all was making him nervous. He longed to be around them on a regular basis, but wished it had come together under different circumstances.

When the door finally swung opened, he wasn't the least bit surprised at the face that was starring back at him.

"Jason!"

"Sam" brushing passed her as he entered the house, not bothering to wait for an invitation. Walking down the entry steps and standing in front of the couch as he took in the setting.

"Um…I uh, well I just want..." she started as he surveyed the room

"Where are the boys?" cutting her off, having no interest in what he knew she was attempting to say

"Lucky is upstairs getting them ready. I know you don't want to hear this, least of all from me, but I'm really sorry about Elizabeth"

Nodding his head to acknowledge that he heard her, he kept a bored expression on his face as he waited patiently for Lucky to bring the boys downstairs.

Wrapping her arms around herself, feeling uneasy by Jason's cold shoulder tactics

"If you need anything don't hesitant to call me" she drawled out

Looking straight at her for the first time since he entered the house, "Don't expect to hear from me", he stated leaving no room for any further discussion

Hearing the sound of footsteps he glanced up to the top of the staircase

"Jason!" Cameron shouted as he spots him, carefully racing down to meet him as a white piece of paper was clenched in his small hand

Lifting the boy up as he reached him, giving him a hug before pulling back to look at his face

"It good to see you Cam"

"Good to see you too"

"You ready to go home?"

Nodding eagerly as he raised the hand that was clutching the paper "Yeah, I made this picture for Mama and I want to show her"

Glancing over his shoulder at Lucky, the other man adverting his eyes as he readjusted Jake in his arms

Putting Cameron down, but holding on to his hand, "Let's go"

Walking over to Lucky he reached out and took Jake out of his arms, giving his son a small smile of reassurance as he re-took Cameron's hand, reviling in the connection he felt with both boys.

"Here" Lucky spat out as he shoved a small bag into his side, which he assumed had the boys stuff in it

Remembering Diane's advice he ignored the urge to take Lucky out back and show him exactly why he was good at his job

"Don't think this is over" Lucky stated in a low voice, after saying his goodbyes to the boys; shaking his head he ignored Lucky's empty _threat_ instead he focused on where his attention should actually be for once

"You guys all set?" He stated looking between them

"Yeah! Are we gonna take your motorcycle?" Cameron asked jumping up and down

"I don't think we'd all fit," he said with an amused look on his face as he led them out of the house, to his waiting SUV. Buckling them both in, they headed to Elizabeth's house to get the rest of the boy's things and where he hoped to explain the new changes that were about to take place in both their young lives.

* * *

Unlocking the door while trying to juggle Jake and the boy's bag, he finally got it, Cameron racing through the door after he only had it slightly opened.

"Mama! Mama, where are you?" he called as he looked around the living room, his face worried when he didn't see or hear her.

In the car on the way over the small boy chattered away about the picture he drew and described it to Jason and how his Mom promised that she would let him try the big boy paint instead of the finger paint when he got home. He was filled with so much life and excitement that Jason started to wonder if it would be there after he knew the truth.

"Hey Cam, can you come sit on the couch with me? I have to talk to you about something"

Taking a seat on the couch with Jake on his lap as Cameron came over to sit by his side.

"You know that me and your Mom are good friends, right?"

"Yeah" nodding his head enthusiastically

"Well, your Mom asked me to take care of you for a while. So you and Jake are going to stay with me at my house"

"Why?"

"Well, to keep you and your brother safe because I promised your Mom that I would"

"But why isn't Mama coming? Where is she?"

Before he could answer, there was the sound of the front door lock being undone. Not knowing exactly who it could be Jason immediately got up placing Jake on the couch and standing between the boys and the door. After a few unsuccessful attempts, the door finally swung open to reveal Audrey Hardy.

"Gram!" Cameron shouted as he slipped passed Jason to embrace his great-grandmother

"Gram Gram" Jake said as he clapped his hands in excitement before emulating his brother's actions

"How are my favorite boys doing?" Audrey said with a smile as she gently brushed her hands across their innocent faces

"Good. We're going to get to stay at Jason's house and he's going to show us his motorcycle" Cameron stated as he smiled brightly back at Jason

Having no problem with introducing the boys to his bike, to check it out, nothing more, although he looked right back at Cameron knowing this kid was going to be every bit as sneaky as Elizabeth was when it came to his bike.

"I see" Audrey responded, the smile on her face dimming a bit

"Have you spoken about the entire situation?" addressing Jason for the first time since she entering the house

Shaking his head, "He doesn't know yet"

"I think it's best if he hears it from me"

Nodding his head in agreement, as Audrey lead the boys back to the couch

"Now Cameron, I have to talk to you about something very important alright"

"Ok"

Brushing his curls in a soothing motion she continued

"Do you remember when I told you about Grandpa Steve?"

"Yeah, you said that he was in Heaven with the angels and that we can't see him but that he will always be here" he said as he point to the left side of his chest indicating his heart

"That's right. He'll always be in your heart and he'll watch over you and guide you. Even thought you can't see him he's always with you"

"Uh huh"

"Well, your Mom went to join him"

"In Heaven?"

"Yes" she said still smoothing her hand through his chocolate curls

"But why? Didn't she like it here?"

"Oh Cameron, she loved it here. And she loved you and Jake so very much"

"Then why did she leave?" He said with a pout, as his eyes started to fill with tears

"Well, it wasn't her choice. These things happen sometimes and we can't control them. God has a plan for all of us and he wanted your mom to be with Grandpa Steve"

"Will she ever come back?" he said raising his big brown eyes that held so much hope in them.

"I'm afraid not Cameron"

And that's when it happened, the tears fell from his eyes and streaked down his chubby little face as he cried for the mother he lost

Pulling him close as he continued to sob into her shoulder while Jake started to sniffle, upset by his brother's clear unhappiness, she spoke softly, "But you still have me and your brother and your Daddy. We all love you very much"

"Jason too?"

"Yes, Jason too. You're going to stay with him and he's going to take very good care of you" looking pointedly at Jason over Cameron's head

Wiping the tears off his face, "Who's going to teach me to paint now?" He whined, between his soft sobbing

"I don't want her to go, I'm gonna miss her" he cried, burying his face on his Grandmother's shoulder.

Sitting down next to them on the couch, Jason reached out to touch Cameron's back, "We're all going to miss her buddy, very much"

Rubbing soft smoothing circular motions on his back until he started to calm down, "Cameron, how about you take Jake and go gather up all the toys and books you want to take to my house. I'll come up in a bit to help you pack ok?"

"Ok. Come on Jake" Cameron said with a somber expression as he took his little brother's hand, helping him climb the stairs.

Waiting until she could hear the sound of toys being thrown around, she turned back around to deal with the man standing in the middle of her Granddaughter's living room.

"I went to go pick up the boys from Lucky's and he told me the situation. I figured you would come here"

"Yeah well, I wanted them to get some of their things for the night since there wasn't enough time to move all of their stuff yet"

"I really wish you wouldn't do this"

"Do what?"

"Move the boys out of their home. Between Lucky and me we're perfectly capable of caring for them"

"This is what Elizabeth wanted. This is the last thing she asked for and I'm going to carry out her wishes" he stated firmly

"I don't know why she wouldn't want her children growing up with the only father they've ever known and in their home surrounded by their things"

"I wish I didn't have to move them from here, but the security isn't that great. I've already set up their rooms at my penthouse to look exactly like the ones upstairs. They'll be safe there"

"Ah yes, bulletproof windows, guns and guards. I don't know why she would want her children growing up around. Is that what you want for those boys?"

Blowing out a frustrated breath and shifting his feet, for some reason out of all the things he's face in his life Audrey Hardy could still make him squirm

"No, I don't but it is what it is. I can't change who I am or how I lead my life but I protect the people I care about"

"But will that be enough?"

"I can't answer that" he quietly answered. He really didn't have an answer, it was a question he had asked himself time and time again, but all he could really do was try and pray that his efforts were enough to keep them safe.

"I can understand her wanting you to be apart of Jake's life, seeing as how you're his biological father, but…"

Shock written over his face, but fleeted away quickly

"Don't be so surprised Mr. Morgan. Elizabeth may have thought she was good at keeping secrets, but I know her too well for her to keep something this big from me"

"Jason"

Continuing as if she didn't hear him, "Well, I don't like this arrangement, which I'm sure you already know. I'll never approve of your life and the way you live it, you're far from the boy who used to follow his father around the hospital. But this is out of my control. Elizabeth was always so stubborn after she made up her mind about something"

Nodding his head in agreement as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his well worn jeans

"I trust I'll still be able to see them. You won't be shipping them off to some island"

"You're welcome to visit them anytime"

"And Lucky?"

"If Cameron wants to see him, I'll have no problem arranging it. I want to do what's best for him. I want both of them to be happy"

"I see" she whispered, clasping her hands together as she looked away

"Jason!" Cameron called out from upstairs

Getting up from the couch to make his way upstairs

"Elizabeth's funeral is in two days, I assume you'll be making an appearance"

"I'll be there, although I would like…"

Holding her hand up already knowing where he wants to take the conversation

"I can manage my granddaughter's funeral just fine"

Nodding his head, apparently stubbornness ran in the Hardy/Webber family

"I hope you understand the great responsibility and gifts Elizabeth has left you with. I trust that you will take good care of those boys"

Not bothering to wait for his response, she made her way to the door, "Tell them I'll see them in a few days. Goodnight Mr. Morgan and remember what I said because I'll be watching you"

With that last statement she was gone and he made his way upstairs to help the boys pack


	4. Chapter 4

From now on this fic will be updated every Friday

Enjoy!

Chapter 4

She had planned to have a quiet evening at home with a nice glass of red wine while going over some case work that she had fallen slightly behind on. Kristina and Molly were spending the weekend with Ric and she finally had a chance for some much needed alone time. Of course she loved her daughters dearly, but she was in desperate need for some "Mommy time".

Unfortunately, her eldest daughter had called her saying she needed some legal advice, which left her a little worried and canceling all her plans for the evening She had hoped that with the demise of her relationship with Jason, Sam would be on the straight and arrow again, keeping herself on the ride side of the law where she belonged.

Sitting at a table off to the side she waited for her daughter's pending arrival. After 10 minutes pass the time agreed upon she was getting slightly annoyed by not only having her plans ruined and that her daughter couldn't even bother showing up on time.

Hearing the ding of the elevator, she twisted in her chair to see the guest exit, hoping her daughter was among them which she turned out to be, however she was not alone.

Approaching the table and exchanging pleasantries they took their seats across from Alexis.

"Sorry we're late" Sam apologized before taking a sip of water

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice" Lucky said, giving Alexis a warm smile of appreciation

"I wasn't aware that this was a jointed venture. When Sam called me earlier she didn't give much detail. I was under the impression that she needed the legal advice", Alexis stated, eyeing her daughter

"Well, Sam really called you on my behalf. I was hoping that you would be able to help me with this" he said as he placed a brown envelope in front of her.

Taking it, she opened and quickly glanced over it. "Elizabeth left custody of your children to Jason Morgan", slightly surprised by the turn of events.

"Yes and seeing as how you were my lawyer before and know the situation , I was wondering if you could help me with this" the plead obvious in his voice as well as his eyes

"I don't know how much help I would be. Elizabeth was the sole custodial parent at the time of her death and she left specific wishes for her sons to be left to Jason" Alexis stated plainly

"But Lucky helped raise these kids. He practically raised Cameron since birth, he's the only father he's ever known, same goes for Jake" Sam pleaded

"Be that as it may Sam, he's not the biological parent of either child and the court is going to question specifically why he was not left custody. It brings notice to his character" Alexis pointed out before taking a swig of her water

"Look Alexis, I know that legally the law isn't 100% on my side, but I love those boys. I helped raise them, knowing full well that they were not mine, doesn't that count for something" he said with pleading look in his eyes again, as he reached for Sam's hand on top of the table which she easily clasped in her own.

Against her better judgment she replied "Well, the most you could probably get is joint custody and then maybe over time you could try again for full"

Exchanging bright smiles between the two of them, "Thank you Alexis. We really appreciate this"

"Don't thank me just yet, it's a long road ahead. I'm assuming Diane is representing Jason on this"

"Yes"

"Then we better start planning our attack"

* * *

The car ride to the penthouse had been a lot quieter than the ride to Elizabeth's house. Jake had fallen asleep 5 minutes into the ride. His head tilted to the side, mouth wide open as you could hear a soft snoring sound coming from his body. Jason was glad he was relaxed enough to be able to fall asleep. He wished he could say the same thing about Cameron. He had been quiet ever since leaving Elizabeth's. He simply sat in the back seat staring out the window clutching a framed phone in his arms.

When they were heading out the front door after Jason helped them pack a few of their favorite books and toys, Cameron raced back into the house. Jason figured there was some toy or book he forgot to pack, but when he came back he was clutching the picture frame from off the small bookcase shelf. It was a photo of Elizabeth, with her hair flowing down her shoulder and wearing that smile that could always light up a room. All he said was "Mama comes too"

Looking back at him through the rearview mirror he could see the tears streaking down his face and it simply broke his heart. He didn't have any idea how he could make this easier on him. Losing a mother just isn't something you can simply get over, especially at the young tender age of four. But he made a promise to himself that he would be there for both boys and be the best father he could be. The kind of father they both deserved.

Pulling into the underground garage and parking the car he gently lifted a sleeping Jake into his arms after he let Cameron out of his booster seat.

"You live here?" Cameron questioned as he looked around the half empty parking lot

Signaling to one of the guards by the elevator, he answered back, "Well not here, but upstairs is where I live"

"Yes, Mr. Morgan" the guard said as he approached the group

"There are bags in the back of the truck can you or Marco bring them up"

"No problem Mr. Morgan" he replied immediately as he went to retrieve the bags

In the elevator, Cameron asked if he could press the floor and after the request was granted he decided to press a few more.

On their extended ride up into the elevator, Jason decided it was a good time to tell Cameron about his other houseguest.

"So um…Cam, you, me and Jake will have another person who's going to be staying with us"

"Who?"

"His name is Spinelli"

Taking in this new piece of information, with a puzzled look on his face, he looks up at Jason, "Oh like Hunter's Daddy" Cameron says as if he figured out the puzzle.

Furrowing his brow, Jason questions "Hunter's Daddy?"

"Yeah, his Daddy lives with another man and they kiss and hold hands. Is that what you and Spinelli do?"

Contorting his face to show his disgust at the thought of him and Spinelli in that way, he firmly answered back "No, me and Spinelli definitely don't do that. He's more like a younger brother to me. Like Jake is your little brother, understand?"

Nodding his head he answered, "Yup"

At the ding of the elevator, the doors opened and Jason guided Cameron towards his door as the little boy continued to hug the picture frame tightly to his small body

Coming up to the door Cameron noticed a big burly man standing by it, "Who's he?" he asked Jason as he moved closer to his leg.

"This is Francis. He's a guard. He stands outside the door to protect us"

"Oh"

Bending down to Cameron's level with a big smile on his face, "Hi Cameron, it's nice to meet you"

Smiling back, as he buried his face into Jason's pant leg out of shyness

"He does that sometimes," Jason explained as Francis got up from his position

"Mark is going to bring up their bags, after he's done with that make sure we're not disturbed for the rest of the night"

Nodding, "No problem Jase" he said as he held the door open for them and closed it once they were safely inside

A loud thumping was heard from the direction of the staircase and Cameron hid behind Jason's legs

Coming to an immediate halt was Spinelli with his laptop in hand, "Stonecold, I as just about to…oh, the progeny have arrived"

Scrunching up his face as he came out from behind Jason's legs when he realized that it was his Aunt Lulu's friend from the park "Stonecold?" he questioned

"Ah yes, he is our protector of the night, the…"

"Enough" Jason cut him off, in no mood for one of Spinelli's infamous rants.

"Cameron, this is the roommate I was telling you about"

"You're Auntie Lulu's friend" Cameron stated

"Yeah that is I, the Jackal, also Stonecold's formidable grasshopper" he said gesturing towards Jason

With a look of confusion on his face, Cameron glanced up at Jason for some clarification

"Don't worry about it. And you" he pointed to Spinelli "Stop calling me Stonecold in front of them"

Nodding his head, "Dooley noted Stone- I mean Sensai" he got down to Cameron's level, "So what do you have there?" pointing at the picture frame

Turning the frame around he held it out so Spinelli could see, "It's my Mommy" he said with a smile on his face

"She is very beautiful"

Nodding his in agreement "She went to Heaven with the Angels, so I won't get to see her no more", he said sadly as his eyes drifted to the floor

"Well, you know what. I know the perfect place to put the picture so that you could look at it every day. Do you want me to show you?" Spinelli asked gently as he stuck out his hand

"Ok" Cameron agreed putting his small hand in Spinelli as he was lead towards the stairs as Jason called out that he'd be up in a minute.

Walking with a sleeping Jake towards the balcony, he looked out to the midnight blue sky filled with twinkled stars, gently trailing his hand up and down Jake's back as he whispered

"You know I promised you when you were born that I would give you the best life possible. Your Mother was such a great Mom I knew she would take good care of you and always put your needs first. I thought with me out of the way you could all live a safe and normal life. But life isn't safe. What I thought was right was all wrong and I ended up failing your Mother, failing all of you"

"I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that if I kept you all close we could've all had a great life together. It may not have been normal or perfect but we would've been together. I know I'll make a lot of mistakes along the way but I swear I won't screw it up this time. I'll do everything in my power to give you boys the best life possible, the life that me and your Mother always wanted you to have"

Gently kissing the top of his head, he shifted him in his arms and made his way to the stairs to join Spinelli and Cameron

* * *

The evening had been everything but uneventful. After settling the boys into their new rooms and showing Cameron the ends and outs of the penthouse a pizza was ordered much to the delight of Cameron.

Settling around the breakfast table in the kitchen, with Jake on his lap, Cameron next to him and Spinelli across from them they ate with Cameron regale of the events of his day before Jason had picked him up at the Spencer house.

Sitting back in his chair as he watched Jake trying to shovel more pieces of pizza than he could handle and listening to Cameron's rambling he wondered if this is what it would have been like. His family gathering around the dinner table talking about the events of the day with Elizabeth smiling at her son as he shared with them his day.

"All done" Cameron announced jarring Jason out of his thoughts

Turning to the small boy he noticed he was covered in sauce much like his little brother and wondered if either kid got much in their mouths

"Alright, lets get you boys cleaned", he said as he stood up with Jake in his arms and taking Cameron's hand as he led them upstairs to the bathroom

One bath and two stories later, both boys were down for the night. Lying back on his bed, he thought about how quickly his life had changed. For years he hoped that he would be a permanent fixture in the boys lives. That he would be the one to read to them at night and put them to bed at night with Elizabeth

Elizabeth

His thoughts always drifted to her. It would never be quite right without her. He wished that they could share these moments together.

Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?

Their last conversation had haunted him. He hated that the last time he saw her she was sad. He'd give anything to go back to take her in his arms and give her everything she ever wanted, everything she asked of him.

Even though she was gone now he hoped that he could still give part of what she wanted. He was going to be the best father to their boys that he could be. He hoped that he would be enough, with that last thought he started to drift off to sleep only to be woken up by screams

"Ahhh, help me! Help me!"

Tossing the covers off of him he quickly unlocked the top drawer of his nightstand and pulled out his gun. Easing his way down the hall he saw a dark figure heading towards Cameron's room only to pull back when the figure made a squeal

Spinelli

Holding his hands up and backing up against the wall, "It's only me Stone Cold" he cried trying to keep the panic out of this voice

"Ahhh help me! Help me!"

Lowering his gun he went into Cameron's room only to see the little boy tossing and turning underneath his blanket

Handing the gun to Spinelli, "Go put this back in the drawer and lock it up. I'll handle this"

Nodding his head, Spinelli hesitantly took the gun, remembering what happened the last time he held one he quickly went to return it to it's place

Sitting down gently next to the little boy he shook him awake

"Cameron, wake up…Come on buddy wake up"

Hearing Jason's voice he opened his eyes and leaped onto Jason, wrapping his little arms tightly around his neck as he continued to cry

"You're ok, I'm right here" he said soothingly

When the sobs started to die down and he felt his body start to relax he thought he'd fallen back to sleep, but when he pulled the boy slightly away from his body to look down in his face he saw that he was anything but

Gently running his hand across the top of Cameron's curls, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking his head no and burying it back into Jason's chest

"It might make you feel better if you talk about it"

Shaking his head no again he clung tighter to Jason

"How about I just stay in here with you ok?"

Nodding his head yes Jason adjusted them so that his back was against the small headboard, he held Cameron in his arms softly telling him that he was safe and how nothing was going to happen to him

Looking over to the nightstand, seeing the picture of Elizabeth, he promised he wouldn't fail them again


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

A light breeze would occasionally blow across his face from the slight opening of the back door

But he still couldn't breathe

Every intake of breath had been a struggle

His vision was blurred and if he had not already been sitting he was sure he would have passed out

_Elizabeth had lived an amazing and wonderful life, even though it was cut short by a tragic accident_

He couldn't feel anything. Not the gentle breeze across his face, not the hand placed over his for comfort, he was numb

_Elizabeth was a great friend; she was loyal, fierce and had this amazing heart that gave her the ability to always see the best in people, which also showed her stubborn side._

The words from the speaker did not register in his mind. All he could do was focus on the picture that rested on the stand next to the coffin. It was the same picture that rested on Cameron's nightstand. The one he would kiss every morning once he woke up and again at night before Jason would read to him, always whispering the words "I love you Mama".

Her deep blue eyes were sparkling and her smile…he could never get enough of that smile. He would always love when he was the one that put it on her face. It as the one smile she gave when she was truly happy and he'd give anything for the chance to see that smile again.

_No matter how anyone felt on an issue, if Elizabeth made up her mind about something she would stick to her convictions and fight for what she felt was right. _

She was constantly in his thoughts, especially late at night. After putting the boys to bed he would take to the living room and place the unopened Tequila bottle and a shot glass on the coffee table. Every night her voice would haunt him with memories of their past and he was always tempted to dive right into the bottle to drown them out.

_Elizabeth was an artist, although she had never had a chance to truly pursue her passion she was able channel it into her nursing career._

He could never bring himself to do it. He hated the torture the memories and her voice would bring, although never truly seeing her he was too afraid of what would happen when he could no longer hear her. Too afraid of the deafening silence that would come when it left and knowing then that she would truly be gone from his life forever.

_Elizabeth was a good mother, sacrificing everything for her two children to make sure they always had the best in life, always making sure they felt loved, safe and protected_

No mater what memories he would hear at night, it always ended with the very last moment they shared together. He cringed at the thought of it. The look on her face, the pain and disappointment in her eyes, always wanting the chance to take it all away, he just wanted to take it all away.

"_Will you ever allow yourself to be happy?"_

"Jason?"

Pulling him out of his thoughts he looked over to find Carly's sad eyes looking at him

"It's over. It's time to go to the…to the cemetery"

Looking around he noticed that people started standing as the pallbearers prepared to transfer Elizabeth's coffin to the gravesite. As they made their way down the aisle the mourners started to follow close behind it.

Shaking his hand to get his attention,

"Are you ready?"

"You go ahead. I'll catch up with you later"

"Jason, are you – "

Seeing Sonny shaking his head on the other side of Jason's shoulder she dropped it and got up to join the rest of the crowd.

*******

He didn't know how long he sat in the pew. The church had long been emptied and there was nothing but the whispers of the howling wind roaming through the church.

"I figured I'd find you here" a voice said as the owner moved closer

"When I didn't see you at the cemetery, I thought you might still be here" the voice continued as she took her empty spot next to him

"I couldn't go," he whispered as he dropped his head in defeat

Taking his hand in hers she gave it a squeeze

"It's never easy saying good-bye to someone you love. Lord knows I've had my fair share of good-byes, AJ, Lila, Justus, Alan…Emily; the pain never goes away completely. But you just have to take it one day at a time. You learn to live with it and you live your life as best you could"

"I just…I never thought things would come to this. I always thought she'd be here. She's always been there. I would be there for her; she would be there for me. And now…the one time she needed me the most I wasn't there for her"

"Oh Jason, you have always carried the world on your shoulders but you can control everything around you. It was an accident, a tragic unpredictable accident that no one could've prevented. You have to forgive yourself. Elizabeth wouldn't want you to carry around this guilt, especially when you have two boys to raise now." Monica said as she looked over at her distraught son, wishing that she had the power to take the pain away from those crystal blue eyes.

Clearing his throat, "About the boys, Jake"

"- Is your son" she plainly stated

Snapping his head to her with a surprised look,

"Oh, I've known for quite some time now Jason" Monica confessed

"When I ran into the four of you in the park. Jake looked too much like you did when you were his age and the way you and Elizabeth were acting. Let's just call it mother intuition."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"I'm just thankful you finally decided to tell me now."

"You could see him…if you want."

"I'd like that very much"

"Maybe I could bring them to the house or you could stop by the penthouse, whenever you'd like"

"I'll take you up on that although, for now I'll stop by your place. Edward is going to be a bit much, better to ease him into it all." She stated as she stood and adjusted her dress and shawl.

Caressing the side of his face, the only way a mother could she looked into his teary blue eyes and said "Remember what I said, one day at a time, things will get easier" kissing his cheek, she made her way to her car.

Feeling a shift in the room, he heard the source

"Big bad Jason Morgan, getting in some private Mommy time. I never knew you had it in you"

He recognized the voice instantly and his hand automatically turned into tight fists.

"You always failed her you know. She would always care about you, cover for you, and defend you. Although, I'll never understand why she would waste her time on a pathetic thug. But Elizabeth wouldn't be Elizabeth if she didn't always try to see the best in people, even when there was nothing to see."

"You've always been a little bit in love with Elizabeth. The way you were always waiting in the shadows to be there for her whenever she may trip or stumble, just waiting to pick up the pieces when her world would crumble around her"

Not moving a muscle at the words, not wanting to give Ric the satisfaction of getting any kind of reaction out of him. Not at this time, not on this day.

"And for all your heroic efforts in the end you came up short. The one time she needed help, you weren't there. That has to eat up a guy with a hero complex such as you. You failed Elizabeth and I'm sure you'll fail her children as well. But this time I'll be the one in the shadows to pick up the pieces"

With those last words he was gone and Jason continued to sit, this time to control his rage before he did something that he would later regret.

* * *

Entering the penthouse he threw his keys on the desk, while removing his suit jacket to hang on the back of the chair. Turning when he heard the footsteps on the stairs, he looked up to see Mercedes with Morgan in tow coming down the stairs.

"Uncle Jason!" the little boy squealed in delight as he ran into his waiting arms

"Hey Buddy, did you have a good time with Cameron and Jake?"

"Yea, we played with trains and motorcycles. Can we have another play date soon?"

"Well, we're going to have to ask your Mom ok" Mercedes answered for him

Setting Morgan down, "Thank you for watching the boys for me"

"It was no problem, they're very good kids. Jake is already down for his nap, but Cameron is waiting for you to read him a story before he goes down. And I think Spinelli is still in his room. If you need any help again, don't hesitate to call"

Taking Morgan's hand they made their way to the door, when Mercedes stopped to say, "I'm really sorry about Elizabeth"

After nodding his head in acknowledgment they were gone and he made his way upstairs to tend to Cameron.

*******

Bounding down the stairs, he stopped by the desk looking for keys on his way out only to be interrupted by a knock on the door

"Is he home?"

Glancing behind him "Um…Stone Cold is actually busy at the moment"

Pushing her way passed him, "Is he here or not Spinelli?"

"Stone Cold is tending to his progeny"

Crossing her arms over her chest, "I'll wait. You can go and do whatever it is you were going to do"

"Um…I highly doubt that Stone Cold would want to speak to nor see the Former Fair Samantha at this point in time"

"We'll just see about that now won't we"

"But I don't think that…"

"It's fine Spinelli" Jason said as he emerged from the staircase

"But Stone Cold-"

"I'll handle it Spinelli, just go ahead and meet up with Maxie"

Nodding his head, still unsure about leaving, he eventually, although begrudgingly turned on his heels and left the penthouse

"If you've come here to plead Lucky's case where the boys are concerned you should just turn around and leave right now" He stated, already bored with the thought of their inevitable discussion

"You looked pretty upset at the funeral and I thought you could use a friend, to talk to or I could help with the boys to give you some time to yourself or whatever" she said, shifting her feet

"Why would I ask for your help? Especially where the boys are concerned"

"I just thought that with Elizabeth gone we could…"

"You thought that you could slip in here and take her place? You still think I should share Jake with you or that he should have been your son"

"He should have been," she whispered, as she adverted her eyes. Not liking the direction the conversation was now taking.

"Well he's not. I thank God everyday that he's my son with Elizabeth. The boys are staying with me to raise…alone. So you can forget about me giving them to Lucky to raise so you could have some twisted little family with children that aren't even yours in some misguided notion that you could stick it to Elizabeth"

"They would be safer with Lucky"

"A recovering drug addict, who prefers one child over another who's living with a woman who watched Jake get kidnapped and_ never_ said one word when everyone who loved him was worried sick"

He tried to control his anger, which he felt it slowly slipping

"The same woman that hired two gunmen to scare his mother and brother in a park where they should feel safe. So don't come to me with some high morality"

"It was a lapse in judgment. I would never-"

"But you already have and who's to say you wouldn't again. I may have a questionable past and lifestyle but I've never put a child in harms way and I never will. Now get out and don't even think about coming back"

"This isn't over" she said

"Don't force my hand Sam. I have no reservations about keeping my last promise to you. It would be in your_ best_ interest if you stayed out of things that don't concern you"

"What the Hell is going on here?" the fuming blond said as she entered the penthouse with groceries bags in both hands.

Placing them on the desk, she walked towards the equally fuming brunette

"Let me guess, you've come crawling here thinking you could be a shoulder for Jason to cry on or a pathetic time between the sheets. So much for the whole 'would rather crawl through glass' statement"

"That's not why I came. Besides I'm with Lucky now"

"Then see that you remember it. Now I'm sure I heard Jason ask you to leave, so I suggest you make a quick exit…now"

Looking between Carly and Jason she let a huff before storming out of the penthouse.

"Don't tell me you were buying whatever she was selling?"

"No" he said in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose

"Good because no good could come out of it. I told you-"

"What did you bring?" tilting his head in the direction of the grocery bags hoping to distract her from another one of her rants about Sam.

Going to the bag, she started to pull out the items, "Just a few things. I know how you keep your fridge practically empty, but with the boys living here you're going to need things other than beer, orange soda and BBQ chips"

Putting his hands in his pockets, "Thank you"

Pausing to take a really good look at her friend, "Do you want to talk about it? I mean I know you don't want to but eventually you're going to have to Jason. This isn't something you can just ignore or push away and not deal with"

Adverting his eyes, he had no desire to talk about it. Looking at her he could see the concern in her eyes, but before he could decide his next move there was another knock at the door

Opening the door revealed a kid around Spinelli's age, with the same fashion sense apparently

"Jason Morgan?" he asked

"Who wants to know?" he stated crossing his arms over his broad chest

"Um…I have a package for a Jason Morgan"

Taking the envelope from the messenger, he opened the sealed package, not the least bit surprised by what he found inside

"What is it?" Carly asked as she came up behind him

"Court papers, Lucky is suing for custody of the boys and contesting my petition to legally adopt Cameron."

This day just kept getting better and better


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Nope"

"No?"

Shaking his head, "That's not how Mama does it." The little boy stated with his hands under his chin.

"I think it looks pretty good", he declared turning his final product to Jake to see if he could get some back up, only to have Jake blow a raspberry in his direction obviously agreeing with his big brother.

It was his first morning on a _school day_ with the boys and he was up at what seemed like the crack of dawn to get the boys ready for Daycare. He wanted to keep them home with him for the day but with the big changes already going on in their young lives he wanted to keep them on the similar routine they had with Elizabeth. Plus, with the impending custody case coming up he had to meet with Diane to plan the case.

"Like this?" he questioned as he looked at the pre-schooler

Picking up a piece for inspection, "Where's the jelly?"

"You said you didn't want jelly"

"But how can you have PB & J without the J?" Cameron questioned putting on his best angelic smile

Exasperated after already making two other sandwiches that apparently were not up to par. The first one was all peanut butter, but he had cut it in half instead of in a diagonal. The second was cut in a diagonal, only peanut butter, but he forgot to cut off the crust before he cut it in half. Now he cut off the crust, cut it in a diagonal but now it was missing the jelly

Turning to the cabinet to search for the jelly he could've sworn he heard giggling behind him.

"Here, peanut butter AND jelly, no crust and cut in a diagonal"

"Perfect!" Cameron said clapping at Jason's efforts

Placing it in the paper bag he handed it over to Cameron, who gave him a look

"What now?" He asked

"Where's my milk and snack?"

Tossing in a small carton of milk and a fruit roll-up, thankful for Carly being a junk food freak, bring snacks for the boys

"Alright, all set, we're running late so Cam go get your shoes and your backpack"

"Ok Jason" he said as he got down from the bar stool and ran to collect his things

Grabbing Jake out of his high chair, still with a fist full of Cheerios as they made their way to the front door

"Come on Cam we gotta go buddy" Jason called up the stairs as he grabbed Jake's bag

"I can't tie these" Cameron said as he descended the stairs with a shoe in each hand

After helping Cameron with his sneakers and coat, they gathered up their things and made their way to the hospital Daycare.

* * *

"Have a good day. I'll pick you up later ok"

"See ya Jason!" Cameron said before running off to join a group of other children by the blocks

Handing Jake off to one of the teachers he asked, "Pick-up is at…?" the nervousness evident in his voice

"Anytime between 3 and 5pm"

"Ok. Oh here's Cameron's lunch," he said as he handed her the brown paper bag that had been tucked under his arm

"Oh, we usually provide lunch for the children. See you later Mr. Morgan" she said before turning to the re-enter the classroom.

Furrowing his brow in confusion he looked over her shoulder into the classroom to see Cameron wearing a Cheshire cat smile as he waved at him.

A small smile appeared on his face showing his slight amusement that a four-year old got the best of him. Nodding his head to the guard that was off to the side he made his way around the corner almost knocking over Leyla and Nadine in the process.

"Sorry"

"Oh wait…um… Mr. Morgan" Leyla stammered out

Turning around, he saw the uncertain look on their faces

"Well, um…" Leyla started to say, her resolve starting to slip at Jason's intense look

"We just wanted to say that we used to baby-sit Cameron and Jake"

"Right"

"And that if you ever needed babysitters we're still available"

"Exactly"

Nodding his head in acknowledgment, "Um...Thanks"

He turned and continued down the corridor only to see Sonny standing in front of a hospital window

"How's she doing?"

"Good. The doctors say she'll make a full recovery. What are you doing here?"

"I had to drop the boys off at Daycare"

"How's that going"?

Blowing out a heavy breath as he scratch above his right eye "So far so good"

Nodding his head as he scratched the side of his face, "I know we haven't had a chance to really talk. Since…since the funeral"

"I'm just taking it one day at a time"

"It's just…I remember when Lily died and the numbness that followed. It was so easy to slip into the darkness. Yeah, Lily and I didn't start out conventionally. We grew to love each other over time…not like the way you and Elizabeth loved each other, but she was still the mother of my child. It was my job to protect her and I…I failed. And that's what ate at me; until I realized that there are things in life that are out of my control. No matter how much we do to control the situations around us or the people in our lives things just happen"

"I've known you for a really long time Jason. I know how you can take the blame for anything and everything, especially when it's not your fault, all I'm saying is, learn from my mistakes. You take care of your boys and let them be what keeps you out of the darkness. Most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help."

Slapping him on the back as he took off in search of a doctor, leaving Jason there to think about what he had said to him.

* * *

"Oh right there"

"Just let me…"

"Yes, oh God"

"Right here" he whispered as he started to trail kisses along the column of her neck as his hand reached up to cover her breast through her blouse.

"Oh yes" she moaned back as her fingers played with the short hair on his neck.

In a matter of seconds, she was raising a leg to wrap around his waist only to break apart from him at the sound of a door slamming behind them and an angry set of piercing blue eyes on them.

Moving from between her legs, allowing her enough space for her to hop off the desk, they both searched for the right words

"We were just…"

Holding up his hands in a jester to stop any and all possible explanation, "I don't want to know, just don't let it happen again"

Going around the desk to his chair, he cleared his throat when he thought they were going to go for round two when he noticed the looks between them.

Max stole another kiss, turned to make his way to the door, not before receiving a firm slap on the ass

"I thought were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the case"

Straightening her attire before she took her seat across from him, "You were late, I needed something to…occupy my time"

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the thought, shaking the memory from his thoughts "So…"

"I went over the papers you received, why Alexis felt the need to take on a case she couldn't possibly win is beyond me"

"Focus Diane"

"Well, first I've already petitioned the courts for a DNA test for Jake. The sooner we establish that he's your biological son the better. Also, I've already put in to have his birth certificate changed, once the paternity result come in there should not be a problem with that"

"What about my absence? I mean so far Lucky has been his father all this time"

"Well, be that as it may, you still have paid for Daycare and you did pay for the house that he resided in until recently. Although you may have been physically absent you have still provided for him financially"

Nodding his head in understanding, "What about Cameron?"

"That may be more of a problem. Although you paid for his Daycare since" pausing to look through her notes, "Summer of 2006, Lucky has been the only father figure in his life and since neither of you have any blood relation to him the judge may rule for joint custody"

"How do we prevent that from happening?"

"I'll try to work the angle of not wanting to"

Cutoff by the knock at the door,

"Come in" Jason called out

In came Alexis, with her briefcase and another brown envelope

"Good, you're both here" she stated as she handed the envelope over to Jason

"Paternity request for Jake and Cameron?" he said absently as he retracted the papers from the envelope

"Yes, it's tomorrow, both children are to be tested and your attorney and myself will be present throughout the entire process to ensure that nothing has been tampered with" Alexis stated plainly

"Why would the judge involved Cameron in this?" Jason questioned, eyes boring in on Diane

"The judge-"

"The judge felt that both should be tested to rule out any possibility of further testing coming into place later"

"And why pray tell did you personally drop off these documents. Surely a carrier could've delivered them" Diane questioned

"I came to discuss a possible agreement, hoping that we could settle all of this out of the courts"

"Because you realized you're fighting a losing battle"

Rolling her eyes at the thought, "No, because there are two children involved and the sooner this is resolved the better off they will be."

"What are you offering?" Jason asked lamely as he leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms over his broad chest.

"My client is willing to settle for joint custody, in which he'll have the boys during the week and you'll have them every other weekend"

Laughing at the absurd offer, "You have got to be kidding me"

"My client has been the father of Cameron for majority of his life and he is the father of record for Jake, so he's giving you the opportunity to have some contact with boys you've ignored for majority of their lives"

"You're client didn't even have custody of the boys after his divorce from Elizabeth, was merely granted unlimited visitation at her request, which was very generous on her part especially after the riff-raff your client likes to surround himself with" Diane stated as she stepped closer to Alexis

Closing the distance between them, "What is that supposed to…"

"Look! The only reason I stepped back was at the request of Elizabeth. I knew that as long as Elizabeth was in their lives that they would be all right, that is no longer the case. I don't trust Lucky to raise the boys alone when he barely put in an effort when he was supposed to be around. And after what his…" Stopping himself from continuing, he wasn't ready to release that information just yet.

"Elizabeth left custody to me. I see no reason to deviate from her wish or the previous arrangement that was set up. I know Cameron is still going to want to see Lucky and I won't keep them apart because I know it will hurt him, but if Lucky does something all bets are off" he stated clearly

The bottom line is Jake is my son and I don't see Cameron any differently than I see Jake, end of story. I'm not about to let a former drug addict have sole custody of two children he only used to get the upper hand on Elizabeth and myself. Tell you_ client_ I'll see him in court" Jason firmed stated, leaving no room for arguments.

"Fine, if that's the way you want it" Alexis said with a huff, as she grabbed her briefcase slamming the door behind her on her way out.

Looking up at Diane, "You can't lose this case"

Smirking at Jason as she gathered her papers, "I don't plan to. I'll be in touch."

"And then Randyy wanted to play with the truck, but Hunter wouldn't let her"

"Why not?" he questioned as he opened the door to the penthouse and ushered the pre-schooler in.

"Cause she's a girl and she has cooties"

"Cooties?"

"Yea, I don't know what they are but Hunter says the girls have em and if they get too close they give em to you"

"So cooties are bad"

"That's what I said," Cameron proclaimed, as he rolled his eyes and Jason could do nothing but laugh at the pre-schoolers antics

From the moment he picked up the boys from Daycare Cameron had done nothing but talk a mile a minute regaling Jason of the ins and outs of General Hospital Daycare. His rambling reminded him of Elizabeth and how she could talk forever when she was really excited about something or when she was attempting to distract herself from a current situation she got herself in but wasn't quite ready to deal with it yet.

Jake on the other hand was quiet and attentive, as if he was trying to take in everything his big brother was saying, laughing or clapping when Cameron laughed or attempted to reenact an antic of one of his friends.

"Can I have a snack now?" Cameron asked as he reached for one of his toy motorcycles that he left scattered a crossed the coffee table

Sitting down on the couch with Jake in his lap, he patted the spot next to him, "Yeah, but first I need to talk to you about something"

Waiting for Cameron to situate himself on the couch, before he continued

"The day after tomorrow before I drop you off at Daycare, we need to see a doctor"

"Are you sick?"

"No"

"Is Jake sick?"

"No"

Folding his small hand under his chin, "Then why do we gotta go see a doctor?"

"We _have_ to go see the doctor because he needs to take a test for you and Jake"

Shaking his head immediately, "No no no no, I don't want a shot!" jumping off the couch he attempted to make a dash for the door only to be held back

"Whoa, not so fast" Jason implored as he pulled Cameron up onto the other side of his lap

"This test does not involve any shots."

Looking up at him with his large brown eyes, he said in a small voice "You promise?"

"I promise." he confirmed as he stroked a hand through the small boy's unruly curls

"So why do we have to take a test?"

"Well you see…", interrupted by a knock at the door. Letting out a small groan, he placed both boys on the couch, opening the door to reveal a very pregnant Robin Scorpio

"Hi"

"Uh…hi" opening the door wider to let her in

"Hey guys," she said with a smile on her face as she approached Cameron and Jake on the couch

"Hi" Cameron answered back as Jake waved one of his little hands

"Where's your steezescope?" Cameron questioned as he got up on his knees to lean on the back of the couch, hoping she'd have the tubes out so he could grab them and play with them again

"My stethoscope?"

"That's what I said"

"Well I'm not at the hospital so I don't have it with me"

"Oh" he sighed exaggeratedly with obvious disappointment

"Hey Cam, how about you go wash your hands and I'll get your snack ready ok?"

"Ok, Jason" he said as he scooted down off the couch and made his way to the staircase

Picking Jake up off the couch, Jason motioned his head towards the direction of the kitchen so Robin would follow.

"Can I get you tea or milk or something?"

"Tea would be great thanks", she said as she lifted herself up onto a bar stool as Jason started moving about the kitchen with Jake situated in one arm.

"I know your probably wondering why I stopped by. I just…I just wanted to see how you were doing. I didn't get to talk to you at Elizabeth's funeral and I didn't see you at the gravesite" she said softly.

Pausing at the mention of Elizabeth, before he pulled down a mug from the cabinet

"How are you doing Jason?"

Turning around to face her as he put the mug filled with tea in front of her

"I'm taking it one day at a time. It helps to have the boys here." he said, as Jake reached up to grab his nose, receiving a small crooked smile from his Daddy which he returned with a toothy grin of his own.

"I know you and Elizabeth were really…close" she said, struggling for the right word to describe their relationship. Sure her and Elizabeth were close, but Elizabeth always held back when the topic of Jason had come up.

"Elizabeth and I were more than just co-workers, we were friends, , so she spoke about you. I mean you share a child together"

"She told you about Jake?"

Shaking her head, "No, I kind of figured it out. Besides the fact that Jake looks a lot like you, when Lucky brought the boys to the hospital the day we were talking the look on your face, I've known you a long time Jason so it was pretty obvious what the look was for. It all made sense coupled with Elizabeth's behavior when it came to certain subjects." Leaving it at that, she didn't think Jason had any interest of hearing Elizabeth go off on Patrick at Jake's about fatherhood.

"It was a hard decision, even harder for Elizabeth. I know how much she hated the lies and wanted to tell the truth and she tried to get me to see all that I was missing out. But when I finally saw what she saw…" he responded, blowing out a shaky breath as tears formed in his crystal blue eyes.

Placing her hand over his "I know. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to really show her, but I know she knew how much you loved her and her boys. I'm sure she's glad that you finally get to be in your son's life, even if she's not here to share it with you. I hope that…"

"All clean!" Cameron announced as he charged into the kitchen with his hands raised in the air, proof that his hands were in fact clean.

"Good job, how about you take my seat here?" Robin suggested as she slid off the stool and helped guide Cameron up onto it.

"Well, I'm gonna get out of here. I'm supposed to meet Maxie about some wedding stuff and if I'm late she starts freaking out, you know how she can be."

"Thanks for stopping by."

"If you need anything, feel free to call me."

With a nod of his head, Robin made her way out of the kitchen, stopping in the door frame to watch Jason set a small plate of cookies and a glass of milk in front of Cameron and setting Jake on top of the island with a small box of Cheerios, standing behind him to make sure the toddler didn't fall off.

Watching how attentive Jason was with them as Cameron started talking with a mouth full of cookies she couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of her. She always knew someday that Jason would have children of his own; ones that weren't forced upon him and couldn't be taken away from him, she only wished now that he had someone to share them with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven  
**

Last night had been a long one. After dinner and bath time the boys were wired, neither wanted to go to bed. "Another story Jason, please," Cameron had repeatedly asked. It took five stories to get him to even begin to fall asleep. Jake on the other hand had remained awake long after.

Jason stayed up with him in the rocking chair in his room. Giving up on one of Cameron's books he started telling him about the first time he set his eyes one Elizabeth Webber.

The 17-year old girl, who snuck into Jake's looking for trouble, dressed in a tight black tank top and with equally tight pants. She was feisty that night, but her eyes were sad, showing very little fire compared to what the rest of her body was projecting. Thinking back on that night he only thought he was helping his sister's friend who had tragically lost her boyfriend, but that was how life worked sometime.

When you think something is going to be so simple, it sometimes turns out to be something much more. Something as simple as getting some guy who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself and wouldn't take "No" for an answer can lead him straight to meet the woman he would love forever. He had no idea that she would someday be the mother of his children.

After disclosing their first bike ride, Jake had finally fallen asleep in his arms. Putting him to bed only to wake up at what felt like minutes later. The morning had been almost as difficult as the previous night. Staying up way past their bedtime had left both boys groggy and lethargic, neither wanting to get up, leaving him to have to dress them while they were still half slept. Although Cameron had perked up once he spotted his friend Hunter at Daycare already in the process of building a fort.

He knew mornings such as these were part of his life now and wouldn't change it for anything.

"I thought you said you were going to let Lucky be a father to Jake," the irritated blonde screeched as she bombarded into the office.

"Things change" in a tone that held no interest in the rant he knew she was about to be on

He expected to hear from her, slightly surprised she was able to hold her tongue long enough to get to this point.

"You can't take away those kids from him"

"This is none of your concern or your business"

"Oh you made it my business when you asked me to lie about Jake for you, to keep this secret"

"A secret that is no longer necessary to be kept"

"You can't just push these kids on Lucky, let him fall in love with them only to take them back"

"No one pushed those boys on anyone. Lucky made a choice, I made a choice, and Elizabeth made a choice"

"Lucky is perfectly capable of taking care of those boys. Cameron hardly knows you, Lucky is the only father he's ever known how are you just going to rip him away from his father?"

"Lulu, I'm not going to explain myself to you because your opinions and feelings on this issue are irrelevant. Cameron and Jake are my children with Elizabeth. We're the only people who get to decide what happens to them. Since Elizabeth is gone, they're my responsibility. She left those boys to me and that's the end of it. If you don't like it then go whine to your brother about it or anyone else who will listen to you because I'm done, now get out"

"I'm not finished, this isn't over"

Getting up from around the desk he grabbed her arm and lead her out the door, "Have a nice day" he said before pushing her out and slamming the door in her face

Groaning in frustration and rubbing his hands over his face as he retook his seat behind his desk, he couldn't wait until this custody battle was over. He just hoped that it all will work out in his favor.

* * *

It had been a long three weeks. The boys had easily adjusted to their new life in the penthouse. Cameron still occasionally had night terrors where he'd call out for Elizabeth, but they were getting fewer and far between.

In that time he had set-up two "play dates" for Cameron with Lucky at Cameron's request. Cameron was having some trouble understanding why his Daddy didn't come around so much or why Jake never went with him, but he said he had a good time although he didn't like when "that girl" would show up.

He had enjoyed having the boys around all the time. Watching Jake grow up from close range instead of a distance had been a dream of his that he never thought would become a reality. He was amazed by the similarities he saw in Jake that were beyond the blond hair and blue eyes. He had to admit that he was nervous about how Cameron would adjust. Sure he had spent time with the little boy before but they were few compared to the amount of time he had not been there. But the adjustment had been seamless.

So here he was, three weeks after the boys moved in with him, standing in front of a judge. He knew he had wished this day would come sooner. He wanted the whole process over and done with. But now that he was actually here he wished he could three more weeks. Three more weeks to watch Jake grow and learn new things, three more weeks to hear Cameron play with his motorcycles all around the penthouse and tell story after story about his day at Daycare. Any minute all of that could be taken away from him. Sure Diane had sworn up and down that the case was strongly in their favor and that there shouldn't be any foreseeable problems, but there's a first time for everything.

Watching the judge emerge from his chambers and taking his place behind his large desk, he started to feel tightness in his chest.

"After reviewing the details and evidence presented in this case: paternity results, documents from the birth mother, character letters and the like I've come to a decision". He stated as he was going through the stack of papers that were piled in front of him.

"In the matter of Jacob Martin Spencer, I'm awarding Mr. Morgan full custody of the child. Based on the positive paternity test with Mr. Morgan and the mother's last wishes for their child, Jacob will be return to his biological father.

"Your honor" Alexis called out

"Did I give you the impression that I was finished Ms. Davis? I'm not, so have a seat" the judge stated as he given her a pointed look.

"I'm also granting Mr. Morgan's petition to change the birth certificate from Jacob Martin Spencer to Jacob Alan Morgan" he continued

He released a breath of relief that he didn't realize he was holding, but realized that it was premature.

"However for the matter of Cameron Steven Webber I still have my reservations about awarding full custody to either Mr. Morgan or Mr. Spencer. The results of the paternity showed that neither were the biological father of the child. I understand that Mr. Spencer has been this child's father for much of his life, but the fact that the mother left the child in the custody of Mr. Morgan and taking into account Mr. Spencer's previous drug extracurricular activities and his current inconsistency in attending NA meetings, I don't believe the best place is with Mr. Spencer. Although, with Mr. Morgan scarce contact with the child I have slight reservations, so for now, I will award temporary custody of young Mr. Webber to Mr. Morgan and a social worker will be assigned to assess the child in home over the course of the next 8 weeks. During that time Mr. Spencer will have 1 schedule visit per week with the child in the company of the social worker as well. Does either counsel have any objections?"

Both Lucky and Jason whispered to their respective counsels

"No objection here your honor" Alexis stated

"Ms. Miller?"

"My client would like to know if Mr. Spencer is allowed to see the child outside of these schedule visits?" Diane asked

"That will be at the discretion of your client. I see that he's already made access readily available between Mr. Spencer and the child so I don't see why that cannot continue"

"Thank you your honor"

"If that is all, this case will reconvene in 8 weeks from today. You're all dismissed," he declared. Rising from his desk and returning to his chambers

"I believe that went rather well"

"Thank you" he said giving her a much-deserved hug in appreciation only to be interrupted by the clearing of Alexis' throat

Turning away from her client, "Did you have something to say or was that just phlegm?" Diane mused

"My client would like to know about visitation with Cameron"

"My client sees no reason that the situation set up now can't continue."

"Very well"

Looping her arm through her arm through Alexis'

"Now, let me take you to lunch, it's the least I could do after wiping your butt across the floor in court today"

"You didn't wipe the floor with me"

"I won you lost just admit it Alexis"

"I will do no such thing, the case isn't completely over with yet anyway"

Joined at the arms, they continued to walk out of the courtroom bickering as they went leaving Jason and Lucky alone.

"You may have won Jake, but I won't let you take Cameron from me. I'm his father and there's nothing you can do to change that."

Putting his hands in his pocket, "I don't have to do anything. You're going to do it yourself"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm stating the obvious. You know what your problem is Lucky, you have no self-control and you let your ego get in the way of everything. Always putting your needs before others. You just don't know how to keep a good thing and like everything else you lost in your life, you'll lose Cameron as well"

Closing the distance between himself and Lucky, "You love to make these declarations about things that you claim you want when really it's all a big show. Claiming you wanted Elizabeth, only to cheat on her left, right and sideways. Claiming you was Cameron's father, but wouldn't get clean for him. You know sooner or later Cameron is going to realize that it's only your ego and pride that will keep you around but eventually you'll get bored and move on to something else. We both know how this will end"

"You can't poison my son against me, he loves me"

"I'd never do anything that would hurt Cameron. Besides, he's a smart kid; he'll figure it all out for himself. You don't know how to hold on to a good thing Lucky and this won't be any different."

* * *

After walking out of the courthouse, he couldn't wait to get back to the boys. Today's decision had mostly gone the way he hoped. Jake was his free and clear, his birth certificate was finally being rectified and that brought him more joy than he ever expect. Although, he had wished things went as easily with Cameron. The thought of losing that little boy was unbearable and he knew he had to make sure everything went smoothly with the social worker. He didn't want to give the judge any reason to deny him full custody.

Walking into the penthouse he encountered Maxie with Cameron playing some kind of board game.

"I win I win" Cameron started chanting as he began to jump up and down, while Maxie crossed her arms in malcontent.

Hearing the sound of the door close, he looked up and saw Jason for the first time and started to run at him full speed, "Jason!" he shouted as he jumped into his waiting arms.

"Hey Buddy," he said as he situated Cameron in his arms

"I won the game"

"What game?"

"Chutes and ladders"

"Only because I let you win," Maxie mumbled as she started to pack up the game

"Nu uh. I won fair and square. Don't be a spoiled sort"

"Spoiled sport" Jason corrected

"That's what I said"

"We'll have a rematch some other time and we'll see who's the best. I've got to go"

"Where are Spinelli and Jake?"

"Jake is upstairs taking a nap, thank God. I don't know what you feed that kid but ew, he ruined a perfectly good pair of Christian Louboutin suede shoes and this top is definitely ruined"

Looking at the shirt in question bunched up in her hand, while noticing for the first time that she wasn't in some fancy outfit but in what looked liked Spinelli's t-shirt and sweat pants, "Jake is sick?" panic seeping into his otherwise calm voice.

"Hardly. I made a perfectly good lunch and he did everything but eat it"

"It had little black bugs in it Jason" Cameron whispered in a loud voice

"I told you those were olives!" Maxie said indignantly as she rolled her eyes

"Anyway, I finally gave up, gave him a bottle and he went to sleep about an hour ago"

"What happened to Spinelli?"

"I don't know he rambled about something or other and asked me if I would watch the boys. But you're here now and I have to get back to Crimson because lord knows Lulu is basically useless and Kate is probably having a coronary as we speak" she said as she put on her jacket and gathered up her clothes

"See ya"

"Bye bye Blonde one" Cameron said with a smile on his face as Maxie departed.

"Did you have a good time with Maxie?" Jason asked as he took a seat on the couch with Cameron on his lap.

"Yes, but she talks A LOT" he s aid as he dragged his hands across his face in frustration.

Laughing at his antics and amused by the fact that they shared similar ideas where Maxie was concerned.

Running a hand through Cameron's unruly curls, "I have something important to talk to you about"

"Ok" he said as he slumped forward putting his little hand under his chin

"Remember when I took you and Jake to the hospital for that test?"

"Uh huh, no needle and I still got a lollipop," he said with a smile

"That's because you were a very good boy. Well…" Not really sure how to explain this to a three year old but charging ahead nevertheless, "That test proved that I'm Jake's Daddy"

"Did it say you're my Daddy too?"

"Well, not in that test, but that doesn't mean I couldn't still be your Daddy, but that depends if you want me to be your Daddy or not."

"What about my other Daddy?"

"You see that's what makes you such a special kid because you get to have two Daddies if you want"

"Oh like Hunter…does that mean I'm adopted?"

"Adopted? Why would you think that?"

"Well Hunter has two Daddies because he said he's adopted"

"Oh. Well you're not adopted by me yet, but one day"

"Why not now?"

"Well you see there's this person, a judge, who has to let me know when I can adopt you"

"When will he know?"

"In a few weeks he's going to have someone come over to the house to see how you like living here. Do you like living here?"

"Yup. It's fun. Jake and me have all our toys and you and Spin play with us. I like my motorcycle toys."

"I'm glad you like it here"

"Can we go play motorcycles now?"

"Lets go see if Jake is up first and then we'll play, deal?"

"Deal" sliding off his lap and racing for the stairs, calling out "I get to be the black motorcycle this time" as Jason followed closely behind him amused by Cameron's new found love for the motorcycle that was a miniature version of his own and thinking, how like his mother Cameron liked him for his bike.

* * *

The darkness seemed endless. Every move that was made seemed to cause more strain and met with resistance, but the fight was strong. It looked as if it felt like something was lying on her body making it difficult for her to breathe. She twisted and turned in her endless slumber, moaning incoherent words occasionally but still remaining unconscious.

He knew bringing her here was a mistake that would lead to nothing but trouble, but he couldn't help himself.

Hearing her moan again as he removed the now lukewarm cloth he placed across her forehead. Her temperature had spiked in the middle of the night and with her still remaining unconscious he was unable to give her the antibiotic pills he had swiped from the hospital.

He thought about taking her to the hospital but it was miles away and he knew they would ask him too many questions he wouldn't be able to answer and that in the end it would do more harm than good.

Hearing her moan and twist in her sleep, he reached to place his hand on her forehead, breathing a sign of relief when he felt the coolness, knowing that her fever had finally broke.

He had been worried that she had not gained full consciousness since he brought her here, but there had been moments she was able to at least be able to take down some broth, although with the IV he previously had in place he knew she would be alright if she stayed out a little while longer.

Another moan escaped her lips as her eyes flickered a few times before she brought her hand to them. Lazily rubbing at them until she was able to fully open them.

Looking around the room, taking in her surroundings her eyes landed on him and she attempted to push herself out of bed with a look of terror in her eyes, only to be struck by a pounding in her head that crippled her back into the mattress.

"Easy" the voice said, "I'm not going to hurt you"

Looking into his warm green eyes she calmed slightly, going to speak she realized that her mouth was dry, picking up on her dilemma he handed her a glass of water, which she hesitantly accepted.

Taking a few sips she looked around the room scrunching up her face when nothing was familiar to her, "Where am I?" she questioned in a raspy voice

"This is my cabin, few miles off Route 86"

"How'd I get here?"

"I found you a few miles down on the side of the road. I don't know what you were doing out this way there's not much out here"

"I…I can't remember" she said, trying to collect her thoughts but everything was fuzzy. She didn't know where she was, how she got there or even…

"Can you tell me your name darling?"

Meeting his eyes straight on for the first time since she woke up, "I…I don't know"


	8. Chapter 8

"Pass me the M&Ms" he said holding out his hand.

"I said M&Ms!" he cried as he saw the spoon being shoved in his face.

Reaching out himself he grabbed the bag of M&Ms, "These are M&Ms" he said pointing to the bag.

Shoving his hand into the bag he pulled out a fist full of the candy and dropped them into the large bowl.

"Now give me the spoon," he said holding his hand out only to feel candy being placed in his hand.

"Ugh!" he huffed as he slapped his hand across his forehead and mumbled "babies" under his breath as he grabbed the spoon off the counter and started mixing the contents in the bowl.

"So what do you think Jakey?" he said as he pushed the bowl closer to his little brother, who was situated on top of the kitchen island, so he could get a better look.

Jake looked in the bowl and tried to stick one of his little fists inside before having it pushed out of the way.

"No, this is Jason's breakfast" Cameron said as he continued to stir the contents of the bowl.

Rolling over on his side, he peaked with one eye at the clock on his nightstand.

7:35am

He groaned as he quickly sat up, noticing once again that he was running late and that he had to get the boys ready before they were late for daycare again. Gingerly getting out of bed he reached for his sweatpants and tugged them on.

Scrubbing his face, feeling the light stubble but knowing he didn't have time to shave if he was going to get the boys up and out on time. He walked towards his door as he slipped a T-shirt over his head.

Walking down the hall, stopping first in Cameron's room but noticing the bed was empty. Moving across the hall to Jake's room he noticed the gate on one side of his crib was down, knowing once again Cameron helped his little brother out of his crib again.

Making his way down the stairs, he heard the boys moving around the kitchen.

"I think it's all done Jakey" Cameron said as he held the spoon up to Jake's face, but pushing him away again when it looked like he was going to put the spoon in his mouth.

"No, I told you it's for Jason, remember" Cameron said with a huff

"What are you boys doing" Jason questioned as he came into the kitchen with a puzzled look on his face.

"Surprise!" Cameron screamed, causing Jake to squeal with delight as well.

Walking around the kitchen island to see what was in the large bowl, "What is this?" he asked as he looked into the bowl, noticing it's brownish coloring.

"It's your breakfast silly. Me and Jake made it for you"

"What's in it?"

"It's chocolate M&M pancakes. It's not done cause I'm not supposed to use the stove but you can do that part"

Looking around the kitchen, he noticed the "ingredients" laying at various parts of the kitchen for the first time; an open flour bag, the carton of eggs with half the eggs missing, chocolate syrup, maple syrup, milk and a bag of M&Ms.

Taking the spoon from Cameron he looked in the bowl noticing eggshells clumps of flour and M&Ms standing out from the rest of the mixture.

"Isn't it great Jason? Aren't you going to try it?" Cameron questioned with a big smile on his face.

"Um…" Jason hesitated as he took another glance into the bowl.

"Don't you like it Jason?" Cameron asked as he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and gave his best puppy dogface.

This face, Jason was noticing, had definitely become a weakness for him. Taking the spoon he took out some of the contents from the bowl, figuring one taste wouldn't hurt. Placing it in his mouth he knew he was mistaken. The taste of yolk, eggshells and M&Ms exploded in his mouth and it took everything in his power to not spit it out.

"Good right?" Cameron asked as he shook his head up and down.

"It's something alright," he said as he swallowed the remaining contents in his mouth.

"Have some more?" Cameron insisted

"You know what, this would probably be even better if we cooked them, but since we're running late this morning we don't have time" Jason said as he grabbed Jake off the counter and lowered him to the floor after helping Cameron climb down the foot ladder.

"But what about breakfast?"

"Well get something on the way. Now, you take Jake upstairs and I'll be right behind you to get dressed after I clean some of this stuff up" He said as he pushed them towards the door.

Grabbing Jake's hand Cameron walked him out of the kitchen whispering, "I told you I could get him to eat that gunk" He giggled as they made their way up the stairs.

* * *

Leaning up against the window she watched as the rain fell hard against the lake in the distance as the wind picked up through the trees. Once again she was having trouble sleeping, swirls of blurred images haunted her dreams as an icy blue pair of eyes starred at her.

She wondered what it all meant or if it meant anything at all. Nothing in the past two days have made any sense. First waking up in this cabin with a man she didn't know only to be more confused by her lack of memory.

"Why can't I remember?" she whispered as a lone tear streamed down her face. Wiping it away she turned when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Can't sleep again?" he said holding out a warm mug of hot chocolate to her.

Taking it and savoring the first sip, "I can't seem to shut my brain off long enough to relax"

"I know it must be difficult for you to not remember, but give it time. The doctor said…"

"I know what he said," she snapped, immediately regretting her little out burst.

"I'm sorry. It's just that this is so frustrating" she said, getting up from the bay window and running her hand through her hair.

"You can't push yourself. The more you push the more difficult it can be. You have to be patient, your memory will come back," he said

"Yea, but how long will that take? Days? Weeks? Months?" she questioned, her eyes filling with tears.

"I wish I had the answers for you. That there was something more that I could do to help".

"You've done enough, way more than I could ever expect from someone I don't even know. I don't know how I could ever repay you for what you've done for me".

"No repayment is necessary, I was just in the right place at the right time"

A silence passed between them and Elizabeth retook her place by the bay window.

"So how did you come about this cabin?" she asked as she continued to look at the rain picking up outside the window.

"It's been in my family for years. When I was a kid my parents would bring my sister and me up here in the summer. My Dad would take us fishing on the lake and hiking along the trails and at night we would roast marshmallows and watch the stars as my Dad would try to scare us with old ghost stories" he chuckled as the memory played crossed his mind.

"That sounds like a wonderful time"

"It was. We would always look forward to coming up here, getting away from the fast pace of New York City. Mom was never much of a fan of the city, but coming up here every summer was worth dealing with the city life"

"Does your family still come up here?"

Turning away from her as he looked towards the sky, a far off look in his eyes and she saw the shift in his body language.

"No. The last time we were all up here was when I was 16".

"Did they all move away?"

Noticing the tension in his stance as he continued to gaze up at the sky, through the window not looking at her, almost as if he was taken back in time to a place only he could reach.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," she said down casting her eyes as she ran circles around the lip of her mug.

"Don't be. It's just that…" he said, blowing out a breath as he felt the tears building up in his eyes.

"It's been a long time since anyone asked me about my family" he said as he walked across the room and sat in the plush chair, the bed in the room now between them.

"My parents were killed in a car accident when I was 17. My sister and I went to live with my uncle in Connecticut. He had his own vacation spot so he never brought us here." He said as he bent over with his hands clasped between his legs.

"My sister passed away last year, breast cancer. After that I decided to come out here for good. We had a lot of good summers here, a lot of great memories. I feel closer to them here and I don't feel so alone".

Setting her mug down on the windowsill, she crossed the room sitting on the edge of the bed. Placing a delicate hand to his forearm, she spoke, "I'm sorry about your family. I guess I'm not the only one having a rough time".

Looking up into her face, their eyes locked for a moment before he looked away, his eyes traveling back down again. "Thank you" he said as his other hand covered her hand that was resting on his forearm.

Breaking the contact, he moved towards the door, "It'll be morning before you know it, how about you try to get some sleep, ok?" he said with the hint of a smile

"Ok" she said as she pulled back the sheet on the bed.

"Colin!" she called out just before he closed the door

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being so good to me" she said

Nodding his head, he turned and went out the door, softly closing it behind him.

* * *

"Slow down Cam" he called after the boy as he was running towards the door to Kelly's.

Following behind with Jake in his arms he caught up to the kid and helped him open the door.

He was not in the mood to cook tonight after the long day he had at the warehouse with another shipment coming in late once again. He'll have to remember to get Spinelli on that later. Right now it was his time out with his boys, no interruptions.

Once he strapped Jake into a high chair, he reached for a menu.

"So what do you boys want to eat?" He asked.

"Chicken fingers and French fries and onion rings and a milkshake with a big piece of chocolate cake" Cameron said as he bounced in his seat with excitement.

"That's a lot of food, you think you can handle all that?"

"I'm a big boy Jason, Jake is the baby. I can handle it" Cameron said with his best serious look.

"How about we start with the chicken fingers and French fries and if you eat all that then you can have either a milkshake or a piece of cake, deal?"

"Deal!"

Looking in through the window, he thought about waiting inside for his brother until he caught sight of who was inside.

"Hey Nik, ready to eat, I'm starving" Lucky said as he came upon Nikolas who was still glancing through Kelly's window.

Turning around to block Lucky's view, "How about we go to the Metro Court instead, my treat?"

"What? Has the dinner rush already started?" Lucky asked as he tried to look around him.

"Alright, I'm going to be honest with you, but don't over react"

"Why would I over react?" he questioned as Nikolas moved away from the window so he could get a better look.

Scanning the diner, he came across Jason with Cameron and Jake. Cameron was talking a mile a minute as he covered a French fry in ketchup, laughing at something Jason obviously said to him, before he shoved the fry into his mouth. Jason was rubbing his hand over Jake's back in soothing motions before Jake reached out to be picked up which Jason did with effortlessness. Seeing the boys at ease with him made his blood boil. His boys.

Grabbing him by the shoulder, "Come on Lucky, let's just go to the Metro Court. You don't want to do something you're going to regret" Nikolas pleaded with him.

"How was it?" Mike asked as he approached the table

"Real good" Cameron said as he popped his last fry in his mouth

"Any room for dessert?" Mike asked as he gathered their plates.

"Chocolate Cake!" Cameron cheered, "I can have it right Jason, I ate all my food just like you said"

"Yea, you can have a piece. But we have to take it to go, it's getting late ok"

"All right Cam, come with me and I'll let you pick out your own piece" Mike said, giving a look to Jason with the understanding that he won't let Cameron pick out too big of a piece.

Looking over to Jake he noticed the applesauce he was eating all over his hands and face and started cleaning him up before a voice behind him stopped his actions.

"Never thought I'd see the day that the 'Great Jason Morgan' would be so domestic," Lucky sneered as he came into Kelly's with Nikolas right behind him.

"Lucky come on, don't do this" Nikolas pleaded as he saw the other patrons in the diner start to look up at the scene he had no doubt his brother was looking to create.

Getting up from his seat and blocking Jake from Lucky, "I'm not doing this with you Lucky. This isn't the time or the place".

Taking a step forwards, "Oh this is definitely the time. You are here with MY kids, trying to play father of the year when you're nothing but a thug. You think I want you as a role model for them? Some mobster who's no doubt going to get them killed. Poisoning my children against me like you poisoned Michael against AJ. If you think I'm just going to sit back and take it you've got another thing coming".

"I'm not doing this" Jason said as he turned to teach for the buckle to Jake's high chair to release him again.

Pushing his shoulder he gloated, "What? Can't handle the truth Jason?"

Turning around he grabbed Lucky by the front of his shirt, lowering his voice, "You're the one who can't handle the truth. This has nothing to do with the boys; this is all about your pathetic wounded pride. Grow up Lucky, act like a man for once and start thinking about the well being of those kids before your own problems." Pushing him away from him, which made Lucky stagger back.

Gaining his balance, he moved forward to take a swing but Jason being too quick moved out of the way and Lucky fell into an empty chair.

Hearing a gasp, he looked around Lucky to see Cameron clutching a brown paper bag to his chest with his eyes opened wide in shock.

* * *

The ride home was quiet. Both boys had fallen asleep soon after he pulled out of Kelly's parking lot. He wanted to talk to Cameron about what he saw and hoped to do it on the ride home, but he was fast asleep still clutching the brown bag. The last thing he ever wanted Cameron to see was him fighting with Lucky, in the middle of Kelly's no less. The kid had to be confused.

Pulling into the garage, he came to a stop in his spot noticing neither boys looking like they were going to wake up. Gathering them both in his arms he carried them to the elevator and eventually up the stairs to their respective bedrooms. Neither boy woke up, even when Jason changed them out of their clothes and into their pajamas. I guess it had been a long day for all of them.

Standing by the balcony door he couldn't help but berate himself for letting things get out of control with Lucky while the boys were around. He kept feeling like he was messing up with them, that maybe he wasn't doing right by them. He was constantly questioning himself, wondering if Elizabeth would approve of how he was raising them or if she would be disappointed in him.

Elizabeth.

He couldn't stop thinking about Elizabeth. He was never one for regrets or thinking about the past he knew he couldn't change but he couldn't help it. If he only made different choices she'd be here with him, raising the boys with him. That's all he ever wanted was to be a family with her and the boys. It seemed cruel that it was him here with them while she was gone.

Looking out at the boats sitting in the harbor he couldn't help remember a time when she was right there with him, dreaming about getting a yacht and sailing to the Mediterranean. He wished they had done it. Sailing away together or riding off into the sunset on his bike with her arm tight around him as he heard her screams of delight when he would take the curves at high speeds.

Distracted out of his thoughts he heard the sound of tiny footsteps coming down the stairs and he saw Cameron peak around the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Cam, couldn't sleep?"

Shaking his head, he walked over to Jason, who picked him up and made his way over to the couch as he situated the small boy on his lap.

"You want to talk about it?"

Burying his face in Jason's shoulder he shook his head no.

"It might make you feel better if you talk about it," he said softly as he started to rub soothingly along Cameron's back.

"Why was he mad at you?" he asked quietly as he kept his head on Jason's shoulder.

"Sometimes adults don't agree about things and get upset with each other. Like, at daycare, when you get mad at someone because they did something you didn't like."

"Yea, but Mama says that you shouldn't fight and that you have to use your words or else you get a time out."

"Well, your Mom was a smart woman and she was right about that. But sometimes adults forget to use their words like they're supposed to."

"He needs to learn to use his words like Mama said. Maybe he needs a time out."

"Yes he does" Jason chuckled

"So do you understand what I mean Cam?"

"Yes. Adults get mad and sometimes they don't use their words like they're supposed to," he said as he nodded his head that was still on Jason's shoulder.

"That's right"

"Jason?"

"Yeah Cam?"

"I love you"

"I love you too buddy" he whispered as he held Cameron tight as the little boy drifted back to sleep in his arms.


End file.
